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On the Shelf: |
Behind the Counter: |
This Week's Special:
The secret to 'Coles Red' is
the blood of the supermarket's employees mixed into the Pantone 485c.
Christian discerned
this secret by licking the Coles sign. Christian baked a cheesecake to tempt
Coles employees into making a blood donation.
Christian made three
ten-litre cans of 'Coles Red' paint. The target market for this product will
have:
a) a paint roller and tray
b) permission to paint the front of their unit
c) the inclination to deceive supermarket logistics
into believing that their residence is loading bay, thereby receiving truckload
of assorted groceries. Which will happen, by averages, once every three weeks.
Also, huffing 'Coles Red'
will make somebody see savings everywhere.
That
market is Amy.
Amy has never
killed a werewolf before, there has been a spate of attacks and silver,
uh, has been pricier. (As of 20/7/25, a 180 grain .357 projectile of silver
costs $24.) Amy goes 'gonna see my friends byyyeee' to her boyfriend and 'gonna
cheat on my boyfriend byyyeee' to her friends. She walks dark laneway and
something jumps from roof, lands behind her. She pivots and fires from hip like
Sean Connery and she wishes somebody saw that.
The
werewolf bleeds limply from hole in head but another trail mats fur down its
left leg. Curious, Amy fills a vial with wet-enough second-blood. Dead, the
form returns to teenage girl and Amy is suddenly glad that nobody saw her Sean
Connery.
Lycanthropy
is once again trending amongst schoolgirls as an extreme weight loss method.
The transformation alone burns significant calories but it is not recommended because
lycanthropy and pubescent hormones do not mix. It is a sort of naughty-girl porno
premise except the film is less-smut-more-snuff. This is why they are they are
always getting shot (the girls, with bullets, to clarify).
Werewolf
Second-Blood is useful as crafting material in items - clocks are popular -
that tell when local werewolf transformations occur. Lycanthropes do not
necessarily transform every full moon but do transform once a month. Lycanthropes
sharing territory, such as in cities, gradually sync the nights of their
transformation.
Oh.
The
market for Werewolf Second-Blood is inclined to craft above-mentioned clock,
for fun or profit. This someone knows how to work with blood. This someone has
no qualms with crafting goods from the menstrual blood of dead schoolgirls.
That
someone is Christian.
