I cannot deny that The
Catnip Pages is very hit and miss. I write this blog on Saturday nights
after my weekly 9.45 to 5.45, multi-tasking with a bottle of wine. Editing is
minimal and I can no longer convince my friends to vet my ideas. Welcome.
Lo, the internet, a growing
infinite of entertainment, most of which is mid. I (generously) suspect that
only half of this blog's posts are any good and would like the rest ignored. I
hope that 10% of posts are worth reading and would like these to rise to
the top. Well, you read the title, this is the one-hundredth post, so it is
time to do a top ten.
To be fair, a quarter of
that hundred is a choose-your-own-adventure short story. I am still counting it
because King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard counts Quarters as four albums, at forty-four minutes total. Their prolificacy
makes me feel lazy and I hate them for it. Anyway, the first of my top ten, in
no order, is the start of Al's Wedding: 1. Tomato
Juice.
I cannot rely on views, of
particular blog posts, to decide which posts to recommend. The dead internet
theory warns of bots outnumbering human readers and, in one case, I concur. In
January last year, one Singaporean computer viewed 'Dear
Kelsie' Cleanskin Ramato 2017 over a hundred times. It is thus my most 'viewed'
piece but, in this case, I agree with the hypothesised bots regarding quality.
This post is rare in that everything contained is technically possible, if that
is your thing. And horny.
Without recourse to
statistics, this Top 10 shall be primarily based on author's opinion. I am also
conscious of any new arrivals not yet acquainted with um, ummmm, is Market-Punk
a genre? Probably not, but I hope that Bottled
Emotions (qt) will be proper introduction to this blog's metafictional
pretext.
Peeps familiar with These
Catnip Pages will have already read the above recommendations because I have
hyperlinked to them. I adopted some favourites long ago and here is another
one. Quetzalcoatl
Feathers follows the Jordan Peterson of turtles as they pivot
entrepreneurial into wingmanning for wingless dragons.
Of course, acknowledging
that this is internet, I can reasonably guess that you are taking a shit. Thus
you want brevity, the quick hit: Google
Maps SNES Cartridge. Tension, action, transaction.
That post involves Judea,
who runs one-camel-train which did some miles (and kilometres) over 2024. I
started 2024 intending to write short frequent posts, relying on piecemeal
trades by merchants such as Judea. Carl, bullshit artists, is another hustler. Clogs
of +3 Blunt Damage is my favourite of his transactions - brevity, kicking,
cocaine, that'll meme one day.
Speaking of cocaine. I
earlier dabbled in 'auctions', stories that test a product's value against what
they are or are not traded for. Brick(s)
of Cocaine is like drinking sea monkeys, because it is dense and meaty.
There is merit in the longer
pieces. A
Case of Syrah Syrah casts a wide gaze over
·
Magic Coat
Hangers
·
The most syrah
of Syrahs
·
Impossible
Ceiling Tiles
·
Technology which
reduces the cost of microscope manufacturing by 90% but glitches 400x-1000x
magnification
·
Indentured
servitude
·
The Handicapped
Toilet of Theseus
·
Drugs
and how these markets
interact with one another. Also, someone dies.
The Handicapped Toilet of
Theseus, purchased by Magdalene,PS reappears in Bogan
Mermaid Scales, in turn hyperlinked in later post. It may be because of
said hyperlink that Bogan Mermaid Scales has received disproportionate hits
over the past few months. This piece may
be cut above the rest, another roll of the
dice landing, statistically eventually, on seven. Every post to this blog is a
gamble and I hope you come back once a month to see the results.
The last recommendation is
courtesy of a friend of mine - they do help, I guess. They read a few posts and
said The
Last Jigsaw Piece is their favourite because it 'confused me the least'. Accessibility
is a virtue and this recommendation probably should have topped this list. It
is a good representation of the new method I adopted in 2025, which optimises
writing-to-drinking ratio.
To close, I request a recommendation
from any fans I may have acquired. 'Hit like and subscribe' may not be relevant
on this antiquated platform. Instead, I suggest getting lost in hyperlink's bizarre
bazaar, with occasional click on 'newer post' or 'older post' for chance's
sake. Please find your favourite post, find the best Catnip Page and
recommend it over socials, messages or however kids do. This will make best
introduction between myself and your compatriot and tell me, via stats, where
my gamble paid off.
Thanks
your literary rando
Aaron Nobes
P.S. Spoilers?
No comments:
Post a Comment