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On the Shelf: |
Behind the Counter: |
This Week's Special:
Judea wakes
feeling good about himself. He is ready. For people, for markets. He feels it
in his balls.
Doris the camel sees Judea
back-and-forth past kitchen window and stops chewing - she understands. She has
gotten a bit chubs. Judea has fared worse and she wonders how to broach subject
of his slowly accrued pong, considering she is camel.
But first, Judea checks where
he left his roving-tradings, his merchandise to travelling-merchant. Sascha the Sex-Doll Goon Sack is voluptuous with Wynns 2022 Coonawarra Shiraz.
The Brick of Cocaine
is still good. Judea does not remember what Beard Cobwebs
are or how he got a bag of them, but it is certainly labelled.
The market for Beard Cobwebs
will be patient. The strands can be carefully parsed and rewoven into a net
which, magic, only catches males. Hunters gonna' hunt and hunters wanna' hunt
again, one key many two-holes. They are also good for gazebo occasions.
That market is Amy.
On one knee, Amy bounces sight -
down nocked arrow - between standing targets. Iris catches
breath through gritted smile, right hand clutching baseball bat at rest, blonde
hair loose and striped with blood. Pivot aim right - Azrael pisses on
something still flaming. Amy spins aim 180° to Doc Hasselhoff,
who raises glass of Penley 'Phoenix'
2021 Coonawarra Cabernet Sauvignon and thumbs-ups the all-clear.
They are in a circular
chamber, somewhere underground, you know the
sort. Furry corpses scatter both floors. This is not
implying that the Furry subculture is inclined to human sacrifice. Instead this
is (was?) a Lawful Evil cult that adopted Furrist trappings in case anybody
needed excuse. The Lawful Evil alignment is evidenced by the sconces.
Azrael has pissed the fire off
the corpse. Amy slips arm through bow, stands and stretches. Doc Hoff cracks
her beer and she lights a dart, stabs knife into corpse just (horizontally
speaking) above its hip. She slides knife through suit and skin, fused together
in fire, up to armpit.
Amy skins the Furry. It does
not make a good fur. It is, however, an ethical
fur. There is probably a market for that.
That market is Michael.
Wednesday night is take-out
night and Michael has come to
like Seoul Express’ spicy tofu soup, paired with prosecco. Kristy spleeted an
eyebrow when he snapped disposable chopsticks apart – this was new. Whilst not
the whitest guy around,
Michael is pretty white. Chopsticks went nyam-nyam – Michael grabbed some
veggies, then some kimchi, the tofu sliced in two but he gently lifted a half.
White guys capably using
chopsticks, without putting in any work to learn how, is something of a meme.
This meme is popular amongst the Gods of Asian
Takeout, who have names like Robert and Esther. Whenever a Michael happens, one will cough
their bento into oyster pail and share their phone with compatriots. It is
customary to bestow the Michael with White Guy Chopsticks, because that is also
a meme.
White Guy Chopsticks bestow
the user with agility (plus one, to clarify). They grant the owner with +1
Perception, mostly olfactory. They dull the parts of brain associated with
racism, for everybody within nine-metre radius. Michael does all these things
naturally, so he opts to put White Guy Chopsticks on the market.
That market is Easy.
Easy got home at
6.30 – the Boomers had been out at the pokies since 4.00 He turns aircon on to
use the last photovoltaic potential after a swelter of a day left house warm.
The dogs have not been fed or walked, the dishwasher still full and dirty. What
pisses him is that they did not let him know, because he coulda’ rubber armed
two beers on way home.
Easy’s bulky file lands in the
slush pile of the Goddess of Parentage
just as she pulls from it. It puzzles her and eyebrows carumbrum. She
adjudicates to assistants and finds that he was supposed to find a nice girl
seven years ago. The fuck is this shit?
Lo, a boon: Easy’s glasses
plick on periphery when a woman cops perv on him. This is useful to the guy
looking to winky-smile at gal whilst on his perambulating way. Easy has already
updated his cognitive implant
to do this. So now he does not need the Glasses of Girl Opportunity and puts
them on the market.
That market is Judea.
