Google Maps SNES Cartridge

Giuseppe has the thing and swings Hello Kitty backpack over left shoulder. The other strap does not reach its corresponding arm. He slides down a slope of loose red Lego bricks and they sting his ass.

The shelves are pink in the lantern's glow. There is always something to come after Giuseppe after he has filched his relevant thing and today's expedition is no exception. A hundred-odd Baby Born dolls blink. One sups a spoonful of prop food - like the adverts, the 'food' moves unchanged through the doll and comes out the other end as simulacra of waste, but now a second doll places hands and mouth on exit-hole, like disturbing rim-job, to partake of the same meal. A third adds to the chain, fourth, fifth, ect.

Giuseppe pulls a blunderbuss from Hello Kitty backpack and mutters: 'I was expecting the giant Mighty Max Caught in the Jaws of Doom.'

The Baby-Born-Centipede coils, raises its head and lunges. Giuseppe fires, blasts it with Crazy Bones and five dolls scatter damaged through air. The centipede recoils and Giuseppe rips open two Crazy Bones packets with his teeth, pours contents down the blunderbuss (which, magic, does not need gunpowder). The centipede reposes itself - strike, blast, recoil, but this time Giuseppe is aghast at ammo fired:

'That was a gold Eggy!'

The centipede sweeps its tail - Giuseppe falls on bruised ass and the blunderbuss slides aisles over.

Standing, donning Sock'Em Boppers: 'Don't play with your food. That's what toys are for.'

The centipede (HP: 89/100) lunges and Giuseppe meets its head with right hook. The Soccer Bopper pops, Giuseppe's wrist fractures and a single doll is discarded. The next doll in line chews on Giuseppe's forearm and it is only a matter of time before the dolls down the chain get a taste for meat.

Giuseppe reaches free hand into pocket for Berkonium marble. Marble in crook of forefinger, thumb fires. The marble helixes through the centipede along wide curves. The quarters of centipede fall and writhe.

Giuseppe turns and sprints. He rolls, with painful bounces, down a slope of loose blue Lego bricks. Momentum crashes him through the front door of the Toys R Us. Giuseppe starfishes and groans.

Judea stands next to his head: 'You look like shit.'

'Sock'Em Boppers,' Giuseppe concedes with coughed blood. 'or Soccer Boppers, are really good against the Furby Possessed by Numemon, but are otherwise useless.'

Glance to the camel kneeling perturbed in car park: 'I have something which can sort you out. Now, I don't want to be the ship with two anchors negotiating with the ship with no anchors, but...'

'Speaking of butts,' Blacking out for a second. 'Mine is agonising.'

'I've been hearing that a lot, lately.'

Giuseppe coughs blood again.

'So we have a deal. Do you have a thing?'

Giuseppe pulls relevant thing from Hello Kitty backpack. It is a NES cartridge for Google Maps.

 

* Someone purportedly made the thing. It's a thing.