Friday, March 1, 2024

17. Olive Brine

You admire the furnishings: 'What a lovely place you have, Chris.'

'I'm house sitting.' Chris concedes. 'My uncle is gay.'

You play dumb: 'Are you sure? What would happen if you brought some girls around?'

'Subtle.' With unsubtle glare. 'Which one put you up to this?'

'I'm owed an explanation.' You confess. 'That fish caught on fire.'

An idea sparks Chris' eyes: 'Fine, let's get some girls around.'

Chris leads you down driveway to a property behind Chris' uncle's. Subdivision has been recent - there are no gardens or fences separating front and backyard. In corner opposite your entrance, on the other side of the new house, is a pile of treated wood 'pulled from the old bathroom reno'.

You burp in whisper: 'And it's still there?'

'You'll see.'

Your phone's light scans a dozen-or-so planks not-quite-rotting. You Jenga  planks from the heap and sneak them over the fence to James. Pete takes them through the house and Frank re-arranges them in the middle of the street.

After shifting a dozen planks, you thirst for beer. James trades you one for another plank. After shifting another dozen planks, your beer is done. You realise something is amiss after you shift another dozen planks but Chris says:

'That'll do.'

You return to the suburban street, where Frank has arranged the planks into a waist-height palisade wall crossing (blocking) the road. Frank applies long kitchen-lighter to the wall and fire instantly stretches the wall's length. Flames spike above your head and, in unison, sway to the right clap clap then sway to the left clap clap.

You warm your right hand and your left keeps your drink cool away from the fire. A car turns the corner and approaches the blockade warily. It is full of women within appropriate age parameters. The designated driver questions with mouth half agape but the passengers, passing a bottle of vodka amongst themselves, look at this opportunity with bright eyes.

You garnish with:

Celery

Bacon

Dill Pickle Spear

Asparagus

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