Friday, March 1, 2024

19. Pickle Brine

James: 'We have to be careful, quiet and slow.'

'But I'm already sobering up.' Frank complains for you. 'Hangovers are for morning.'

'It is morning. Technically.'

'Yeah, nah, there's no sunlight.'

Chris' uncle's place used to have a backyard. According to your new compatriots' nostalgia, it was great for pacing away hangovers and peeing. The backyard has since been sacrificed to that most inscrutable of secular gods: subdivision.

The driveway running alongside the initial house is gravel but this gives way to patches of reddish dirt or knee-height weeds. A house sits in the middle of the new block. Frank and yourself squat at driveway's end before proceeding with trespass. James stays behind, head poking over rear fence and ready to give alarm in form of bird call.

Your objective is the far corner in your sights. Frank leads in crouched sneak. A patio light flicks on and a 'goola goola goola' sings. Frank throws himself down flat and you imitate, squashing weeds.

'I think that was just a magpie.' You whisper when the light turns off. 'Unless James can warble real good.'

'That's even worse.'

'How is that worse?'

'When magpies sing, that means it's time to go to bed.'

You blindly follow Frank's crawling - the sound of rustled weeds and his own languageless complaints. You arrive in the corner, where a short chilli bush has survived the subdivision. Frank pockets two small red chillies and hands you another two.

Your retreat is hasty, ignoring the patio light. James meets you at the front door's safety and takes one of the chillies from Frank. He uses palm to mash it into the door's lock. From lock outwards, the brass door handle burns away, the hole widening with a thin bright-orange rim. You are not sure whether to pocket your chillies or scatter them far away.

'Damage is done.' James, triumphant with door's opening. 'So let's use as much magic as possible before Chris gets here.'

You garnish with:

Celery

Bacon

Dill Pickle Spear

Asparagus 

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