Friday, March 1, 2024

14. Worcestershire Sauce

Chris fills a supermarket bag with various boozes. James pisses on the back fence. Pete leads you to the dining room. You make confused noise.

A Persian rug lays beneath a table of thick burgundy wood. Pete and James lift the table whilst Chris and yourself drag the rug into the hallway - or, rather, you pull the rug without friction. The rug floats thirty centimetres above the floor and slowly rises.

Chris: 'All aboard the Royal Flying Dinner Service.'

You fall forward onto the rug. You are on all fours, halfway between floor and ceiling. The supermarket blag clinks between your hands and knees and Chris scrambles up. He stands, pushing on ceiling with left hand and helping lift Pete up with right.

James holds the door open. Chris sits cross-legged at the helm and the rug accelerates forward. Your shoulder hits the door frame and you go 'cunt'. The screen door slams shut. You are above rooftops and James dangles off the rug's side.

Pete: 'I'm just saying. There's fishing, and then there's trawling.'

You: 'Oh shit oh shit ohhhh shit.'

James: 'Yeah, yeah.'

Pete helps him climb up. The four of you crawl around until seating is organised single column and all cross-legged. The rug zigzags above the suburb. You sip whiskey whenever you get nervous.

'Oi! Give that back!'

'Stop leaving it outside!'

Frank runs a pushbike on a suburban pathway down on your left, a woman in pursuit and catching up. Chris u-turns the rug and you slug whiskey. Swooping down and levelling off at last second, sidling along Frank. James lobs a beer to the woman:

'Sorry about him. He's had a few.'

The bottle shatters on cement. Pete grabs him under one arm and your grab the other, both lift him onto the getaway vehicle. Frank tries to bring the bike but it lands in a tree.

You garnish with:

Celery

Bacon

Dill Pickle Spear

Asparagus

No comments:

Post a Comment