Sunday, May 24, 2026

The Rabbit Skin Hat and Mitts Combo of Uncanny Terror

This Week's Special:

There is a rabbit plague throughout the Adelaide Hills at the moment, so there is also one in Teletubby Land. They hired Amy to cull them. After accounting for drugs, Amy profited a few dozen dead rabbits. She skinned the rabbits of Teletubby Land and wove their furs into clothing.

The Rabbit Skin Hat and Mitts Combo look nice, in a survivalist chic way. They are warm and snuggly – the mitts hang at front like pockets. Nobody gives them second glance – the more they do, the more they consider them, the higher pitch of uncanny worry. It is impolite to call someone vein-bleach without fingering exactly why, so people keep talk small, oh so small.

The market for this clothing is looking to accessorise for next winter’s fashion. They do not want a conversation piece, they want an anti-conversation piece. This may be because they are high as fuck and have to navigate the shops. Sunglasses can only hide bloodshot eyes.

That market is Fika.

On the Shelf:

Behind the Counter:

₵$26 Ghost Tobacco (20)

₵$145 The Safe of What You Want for Dinner

₵$20 Bloody Mary

₵$100 Chocolate Bar

₵$50 El Dorado Green (1/4)

₵$104 Bottled Emotions

₵$3 Mugwump Jism (g)

₵$36 Beard Cobwebs

₵$1 Slut Root (kg)

₵$74 Tofu Which Pairs Perfectly with Your Wine (350g)

₵$25 Marital Aid Potion

₵$21 Cuck Chair

₵$5 Quetzalcoatl Feathers (doz.)

₵$50 Self-Cooking Olive Oil (375 ml)

₵$5 Blue Roses (doz.)

₵$44 Quad-Option Flare Gun

₵$66 Mythril (oz.)

₵$105 Coles Red (10L)

₵$4 BZTCN

₵$84 Stone 80

 

* Mandatory footnote

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