Placebo Cigarettes

 

On the Shelf:	Behind the Counter:
₵$22 Ghost Tobacco (20)	₵$60 Self-Cooking Olive Oil (375 ml)
₵$25 Bloody Mary	₵$88 Quad-Option Flare Gun
₵$50 El Dorado Green (1/4)	₵$154 Coles Red (10L)
₵$9 Mugwump Jism (g)	₵$36 Stone 80
₵$1 Slut Root (kg)	₵$255 Brick of Cocaine
₵$30 Marital Aid Potion	₵$33 Self Freezing Icecube Tray
₵$10 Quetzalcoatl Feathers (doz.)	₵$104 Water Bottle (Name Pending)
₵$5 Blue Roses (doz.)	₵$12 Mystery Soda
₵$57 Mythril (oz.)	₵$42 Fire Chicken Feathers (doz.)
₵$22 BZTCN	₵$224 Potion #77508

 

This Week's Special:

Big Tobacco tried lobbying, on health grounds, against advertising that discouraged smoking, because it made smokers unhealthy with negative placebo. It did not work, but part of the lobbying had chemical-engineers make Placebo Cigarettes. These Placebo Cigarettes waited in the Bomb Begone rewards pool before Cheese received them (and four stars) for cutting some wires. This makes sense because people would try to bomb Big Tobacco all the time.

Conventional cigarettes exchange a person’s future for immediate gratification – time travel for hobbyists. Placebo Cigarettes provide the immediate gratification in exchange for a person’s benefits from placebo. Placebos include: efficacy of paracetamol, flavours wine acquires with greater price tag, affect of Taylor Swift (she’s good, buuuut…)

The market for Placebo Cigarettes will like tobacco but not its marketing, its effects but not its implied effects. The market is looking for scapegoat to blame for their life’s shortcomings, but punch-up at abstraction instead of minority group. They will take their revenge on the Placebo Effect but nobody else’s because that is dick move.

That market is Easy.

 

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